My Autobiography

I know you and I'll agree

What this world needs is a lot more me

Well, I have got the remedy

Gonna write my autobiography

I've led a fascinating life

Had a husband and a wife

But you will truly be amazed

At just how humble I have stayed

Enough about me, let's talk about you

What do you think of me

You must feel such gratitude

That you will get to read

My autobiography

My life doesn't have a very good plot

Guess I'll have to lie a lot

Should be easy to make things up

There's no one left to call my bluff

A lot of my old friends have passed on

The rest did drugs and their memory's gone

So I'll write my own history

In my autobiography

I'll say I slept with a Kennedy

Don't remember which one

They all looked the same to me

Or they did when we got done

Maybe they'll film it for TV

I wonder who they'll cast as me

Should be somebody I look like

Sigourney Weaver'd be all right

Gonna be hard to deal with fame

Once the whole world knows my name

But I'll stay humble and grateful to

All the little people like you

A thousand pages more of me

And all I've said and done

It will be my legacy

And that's just volume one

Of my autobiography