Mother Goose

As i did walk by hampstead fair

I came upon mother goose -- so i turned her loose --

She was screaming.

And a foreign student said to me --

Was it really true there are elephants and lions too

In piccadilly circus?

Walked down by the bathing pond

To try and catch some sun.

Saw at least a hundred schoolgirls sobbing

Into hankerchiefs as one.

I don't believe they knew

I was a schoolboy.

And a bearded lady said to me --

If you start your raving and your misbehaving --

You'll be sorry.

Then the chicken-fancier came to play --

With his long red beard (and his sister's weird:

She drives a lorry).

Laughed down by the putting green --

I popped `em in their holes.

Four and twenty labourers were labouring --

Digging up their gold.

I don't believe they knew

That i was long john silver.

Saw johnny scarecrow make his rounds

In his jet-black mac (which he won't give back) --

Stole it from a snow man.