Growing Sideways

So I took my medication

And I poured my trauma out

On some sad-eyed middle aged man's

Over-priced new leather couch

And we argued about Jesus

Finally found some middle ground

I said I'm cured

And I've divvied up my anger

Into thirty separate parts

Keep the bad shit in my liver

And the rest around my heart

And I'm still angry at my parents

For what their parents did to them

But it's a start

But I ignore things

And I move sideways

'Till I forget what

I felt in the first place

At the end of the day

I know there are worse ways

To stay alive

'Cause everyone's growing

And everyone's healthy

I'm terrified that I might never have met me

Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty

I guess I'll drive

I guess I'll drive

So I forgot my medication

Fell into a manic high

Spent my savings at a Lulu

Now I'm suffering in style

Why is pain so damn impatient

Ain't like it's got a place to be

Keeps rushing me

But I ignore things

And I move sideways

'Till I forget what

I felt in the first place

At the end of the day

I know there are worse ways

To stay alive

'Cause everyone's growing

And everyone's healthy

I'm terrified that I might never have met me

Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty

I guess I'll drive

And if all my life was wasted

I don't mind I'll watch it go

It's better to die numb than feel at all

Oh, if all my time was wasted

I don't mind I'll watch it go

It's better to die numb than feel at all

So I ignore things

And I move sideways

'Till I forget what

I felt in the first place

At the end of the day

I know there are worse ways

To stay alive

'Cause everyone's growing

And everyone's healthy

I'm terrified that I might never have met me

Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty

I guess I'll drive

I guess I'll drive