歌词
This is a song about a**l *** and God
它叫做三米巨擎和几百个童贞女
It’s called “Ten-Foot C**k, and a Few Hundred Virgins”
所以你会活在天堂喽
跟三米巨擎和几百个童贞女作伴
So you’re gonna live in paradise
所以你会活在天堂喽
With a ten-foot c**k and a few hundred virgins
跟三米巨擎和几百个童贞女作伴
So you’re gonna live in paradise
所以你不惜献出生命
With a ten-foot c**k and a few hundred virgins
为了坐上一趟UFO
So you gonna sacrifice your life
当上帝坐着那救赎灵魂的闪闪发光的大马车降临时
For a ride on UFO
你会是第一个知晓的人
And when the Lord comes down in his shimmering chariot of salvation
那如果
You’re gonna be the first to know
上帝在创始之初
创造了男人和女人
And so if
同时也创造了手冲
God was there from the very beginning
然后他说手冲有罪
he invented men and women
then he also invented w**king
却不允许自己手动解决
then he said w**king was sinning
但如果是和亲人搞在一起
so if I’m feeling randy
就完全没问题
I’m not allowed to hand-shandy
这些全在旧约以西结第八章写着呢
But having *** with my family
就在天堂十二扇珍珠门的旁边
That is just ******* great
写道这是一种罪
It’s all there in Ezekiel 8
去享受欢愉
Just before he opens up his big pearly gate
即使这很爽
And says that it’s a sin
即使是陪着你的同志爱人
To take it up the date
所以你会活在天堂喽
Even if it’s great
跟三米巨擎和几百个童贞女作伴
Even with your cowboy mate
所以你甘愿献出性命
就为了在天堂的草坪上来一发
So you’re gonna live in paradise
当上帝从天而降
With a ten-foot c**k and a few hundred virgins
带着他那金光闪闪的审判权杖
So you gonna sacrifice your life
For a shot at the greener grass
如果你
And when the Lord comes down
把你女人的身体裹好
With his shiny rod of judgement
所有人都在狞笑
He’s gonna kick my heathen ares
因为黑色的袍子很显瘦
尽管不适合穿着去游泳
So if you
但是黑袍能让你起反应
Cover the bodies if your women
带着性张力
Everybody is grinning
又可以防晒
Because black is so slimming
还有比这更一举两得的吗
Though it’s not great for swimming
But it gives you an erection
就在为枪支的正当辩护的旁边
With the increased ***ual tension
写道这一种罪
What with the U.V. protection
去享受欢愉
That is second to none
即使这很爽
You’ll find it all in the Q***n
即使你母亲都同意了
Just next to the bit that justifies guns
所以你会活在天堂喽
And says that it’s a sin
跟三米巨擎和几百个童贞女作伴
To take it up the bum
所以你不惜献出生命
Even if it’s fun
为了在永恒之地来上一发
Even with the permission from your mum
当上帝从天而降
我却没有完成自己的救赎
So you’re gonna live in paradise
他应该会把我剖了吧
With a ten-foot c**k and a few hundred virgins
你发话了
So you gonna sacrifice your life
我要是
For a shot at eternity
突然停在一块表跟前，我会假设肯定有个造表的人吧
And when the Lord comes down
看见一块麦芬蛋糕，前提是有个糕点师傅吧
And I haven’t done my penance
于是你迟早要同意
He’s gonna disembowel me
世间有造物主的存在
那么当我一脚踩进臭水沟
You say that
你就要假设有括约肌的存在
If I
因此你无须是伟大的思想家
Stumbled on a watch I’d assume it had a watchmaker
就能推理出上帝就是个大臀
That a muffin presupposes a baker
他自我否认在创世纪第一章的话
So you must agree sooner or later
要是真如圣经所言，那他该有多滑稽呀
That this proves there’s a creator
直到亚当趋于诱惑
So if I put my foot in a stinker
然后上帝唯一的儿子
You’d assume the existence of a sphincter
被钉在树上
Thus you don’t need to be a great thinker
或许是哪个中东版本吧
To conclude that God’s a bum
这表明了上帝的无所不知
which negates the words of Genesis 1
又被他自相矛盾所否定
which made him out to be so much fun
除非他其实是无能的
until Adam succumbed to temptation
如果上帝不能让他那玩意儿立起来
and then his only son
我觉得一切都说得通了
got nailed to a gum
一切不过是他对自己缺陷的冗余症状
Or the Middle-Eastern equivalent
因为众所周知教堂顶端有尖尖的突起，其实只是潜意识里对自己缺陷的掩盖，譬如说一根经久耐用的棒棒
which suggests that God’s omniscience
然后他又告诉众生
is nullified by his ambivalence
享受欢愉是极为可耻的
unless it turns out that he’s impotent
即使你已经出人头地
and if God can’t get boner
即使你网球打得很溜
I guess that explains the plethora
所以你会活在天堂喽
Of huge erections in his honour
跟三米巨擎和几百个童贞女作伴
Because we all know a steeple’s just a subconscious compensatory manifestation of a huge stiff *****
所以你甘愿献出生命
and still he tells us that it’s heinous
为了坐上一趟UFO
to stick a ***** up your anus
当上帝从天而降
Even if you’re famous
带着他巨大的，坚硬的，滑溜溜的审判权杖
Even if you’re good at tennis
我会是第一个被带走的吧
他会把我丢进地狱吧
So you’re gonna live in paradise
他估计会像鞭策他的鸡一样鞭策我吧
With a ten-foot c**k and a few hundred virgins
你真的这么认为吗
So you gonna sacrifice your life
反正我先下去了
For a ride on UFO
And when the Lord comes down
With his big, stiff, slippery rod of judgement
I’m gonna be the first to go
He’s gonna send me down below
He’s gonna whip me like he's a hoe
you really think so?
I’m gonna be the first to go
专辑信息