Pride and Prejudice - Act One, Pt. 8

Act One, Pt.8

The next day opened a new scene at Longbourn.

Mr. Collins: May I hope, Madam, for the order of soliciting a private audience with your fair daughter, Miss Elizabeth?

Mrs. Bennet: Oh dear! -- Yes – certainly, Mr. Collins -- I am sure Lizzy will be very happy.

Elizabeth: Dear Ma'am, do not go. Mr. Collins can have nothing to say to me that anybody might not hear.

Indeed, I am going away myself.

Mrs. Bennet: Lizzy, I insist upon your staying and hearing what Mr. Collins has to say. Come, Mary.

Mr. Collins: Believe me, my dear Miss Elizabeth, that your modesty,

so far from doing you any disservice, rather adds to your other perfections.

But allow me to assure you that I have your respected mother's permission for this address.

Elizabeth: Mr. Collins, I…

Mr. Collins: Miss Elizabeth, almost as soon as I entered this house, I singled you out as the companion of my future life.

But before I am run away with by my feelings on this subject, I think perhaps it will be advisable for me to state my reasons for marrying.

Firstly, I think it right for every clergyman in easy circumstances (like myself) to set the example of matrimony in his parish.

Secondly, I am convinced it will add very greatly to my happiness; and thirdly -- which perhaps I ought to have mentioned before,

it is the particular advice of Lady Catherine de Bourgh, my most gracious patroness.

This has been my motive, my dear,

and now nothing further remains for me to express in the most animated language of the violence of my affection.

Elizabeth: Mr. Collins! ERRR!

I am very sensible, sir, of the honor of your proposals,

but it is impossible for me to do otherwise than decline them.

Mr. Collins: (Laugh.) I am not now to learn, that it is usual with young ladies to reject the addresses of the man

whom they secretly hope to accept, when he first applies for your favor.

Elizabeth: Upon my word, sir, I do assure you that I am not one of those young ladies who are so daring

as to risk their happiness on the chance of being asked a second time.

-- Nay, were Lady Catherine to know me, I am persuaded she would find me in every respect ill qualified for the situation.

Mr. Collins: Were it certain that Lady Catherine would think so,

but I cannot imagine that her ladyship would at all disapprove of you in any way.

And now perhaps you have said as much as a delicate young lady might to further encourage my suit.

Elizabeth: If what I have said can appear to you in the form of encouragement,

I know not how to express my refusal in such a way as may convince you of its being one.

Mr. Collins: You are uniformly charming!

Elizabeth: Mr. Collins!

Mr. Collins: -- and I am persuaded that when sanctioned by the express authority of both your excellent parents,

my proposals will not fail of being acceptable.

Mrs. Bennet: Mr. Collins! Oh, my dear Mr. Collins, congratulations!

Mr. Collins: Thank you, dear ma’am! As is because Miss Elizabeth has not accepted my humble suit—

Mrs. Bennet: What? Not accepted you, Mr. Collins?

Depend upon it, Lizzy shall be brought to reason. She is a headstrong foolish girl—

Mr. Collins: Pardon me for interrupting, Madam, but if she is indeed headstrong and foolish,

I know not altogether if she would make a desirable wife.

Mrs. Bennet: Sir, you quite misunderstand me. Lizzy! Lizzy!

Lizzy is only headstrong in matter of such things.

I shall go directly to Mr. Bennet, and we shall soon settle it.

Mrs. Bennet: Mr. Bennet! Mr. Bennet, Mr. Collins wishes to marry Lizzy,

but Lizzy declares she will not have Mr. Collins, and now Mr. Collins has begun to say that he will not have Lizzy!

Mr. Bennet: And what am I to do on the occasion? -- It seems an hopeless business.

Mrs. Bennet: Insist upon Lizzy marrying Mr. Collins!

Mr. Bennet: (Sigh.) Child.

Elizabeth: Yes, sir.

Mr. Bennet: I understand that Mr. Collins has made you an offer of marriage, and this offer you have refused?

Elizabeth: I have, sir.

Mr. Bennet: Your mother insists upon your accepting it. Is not it so, Mrs. Bennet?

Mrs. Bennet: Yes, or I will never speak to her again.

Mr. Bennet: An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth

-- Your mother will never speak to you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins,

and I will never speak to you again if you do.

Mrs. Bennet: Mr. Bennet!

Mr. Bennet: My dear, I have two favors to request.

First, that you will allow me the free use of my understanding on the present occasion;

and secondly, of my room. I shall be glad to have the library to myself as soon as may be.

Mrs. Bennet: I tell you, Lizzy, if you go on refusing every offer of marriage in this way,

I do not know who is to maintain you after your father is dead.

Elizabeth: Mamma!

Mrs. Bennet: Oh, No one knows what I suffer!

-- But it was always so. Those who do not complain are never pitied.

Maid: A letter for you, Miss Jane, from Miss Bingley.

Jane: Oh, thank you.

Miss Bingley: My brother’s business in London kept him longer than we expected.

In fact, today we follow him there and do not expect to be back. I cannot pretend to miss anything except your company, dear friend.

Mr. Darcy is impatient to see his sister, and we’re scarcely less so.

My brother admires Georgiana greatly, and I feel I am not percipient in predicting that a certain interesting event

– their marriage in fact, may soon take place.

Dear friend, can you join me in hoping for that union,

an attachment that will secure the happiness of so many?

Jane: Lizzy! Lizzy!

Hope was over, entirely over. Mr. Collins withdrew his suit.

Mrs. Bennet: Oh, Mr. Collins…

And the second letter from Miss Bingley conveyed the intelligence that she and her brother—

Mrs. Bennet: Oh, Mr. Bingley…

-- were most definitely ensconced in London, probably never to return.

And there was an additional blow—Elizabeth’s friend, Charlotte Lucas, was to marry Mr. Collins!

Mrs. Bennet: To think that Charlotte Lucas will be mistress of this house and I shall live to see it!

Mr. Bennet: Well, Mrs. Bennet, we must hope for better things. Let us flatter ourselves that I may be the survivor.

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