(If) the Book Doesn't Sell

More so than me

She knows my name

And more so than me

Understands this pain

I'm either too lost

Or not lost enough

I think I'm too smart

For this type of love

I wasn't sent off

But straight to the ground

And I know God best

As one with no crown

Don't know why the past affects me in this way

Don't know where I'll go if I leave here today

But I know my limits

and you're not the type to be fooling around in this way

No reason you're here but there's reasons to stay

Not as easy to know as it's easy to say

Cause to my family and my friends

I can't think of one thing that I gave

But more for me

And more for me

More for me

Aged fourteen, at midnight I hear voices from the kitchen

I let my feet follow the sound as I let my ears listen

I walk upstairs and at the kitchen table I can see

There God is sitting with the devil

Sharing drinks and old stories

The floorboard creaks

A red embarrassment floods all throughout God's face

He swears that it's not what it looks like

Then he swears he can explain

The Devil speaks

"Your God and I put all our differences to rest,

and a man's actions are his own,

But man will blame us nonetheless."

The Devil stands

He grabs his keys and straightens out a rusted crown

He tells me, "Hell is frozen over

Heaven burned down to the ground

And you have only got one life

So do with it what you would like

We solemnly apologize

but we won't be there when you die"

And I stand, cold and alone

In a body that won't move

Watching the eyes of these gods that I once knew

One pair looks down in a half-hearted lie

While the other looks straight into mine with a whole truth

Lacking the fear I've been told a god deserves

I say, "What good is a prayer that goes unheard?"

He says, "What hope could they find in a book,

If the book doesn't sell and the pages stay unturned?"

With a wink that Devil turns and exits the back door

And God is standing there in silence

with his eyes glued to the floor

And then he speaks

"I am no savior

But I give them what they need

And there has never been a dreamer who prefers reality

The war for truth is raging on

But it's not one you have to fight

And if it is the truth you want

Then it is hope you'll sacrifice

It's yours to choose

You can choose

This is not the way I am

This is just how I was raised

So let me make up my own mind

Let me map out my own way

And to the parents of the kids

whose tongues are in their throats

Because of tears that you will cry

if they don't stick to what they know

I'm sure you're giving it your best

And I am sure it takes a toll

But whether God-given or not

Our lives are not to be controlled

Just let us choose